Magical Masks and Someone to Blame

There's a letter circulating social media (see below) addressed simply to "Dear restaurant goer." An unidentified restaurant owner wrote it. I do not know if the owner is a man, but for the sake of convenience, I will be referring to the owner as "he." Besides, it has the tone more of a man than a woman, but I could be wrong.

In this letter, the owner states that he requires patrons to wear a mask for a mere 5 seconds as you go to your table or the bathroom. He believes these 5 seconds protect the livelihood of his business, prevent governmental goons from shutting him down if a case of COVID-19 is "traced" to his restaurant, and prevent the death of his employees and his family. You jeopardize and disrespect him if you don't wear your mask for 5 seconds.

Think about how absurd this is. According to a Cornell University study, the average diner takes 81.6 minutes to eat in a restaurant. That adds up to 1 hour and 21 minutes. That is a total of 4,860 seconds a person remains unmasked in his restaurant. For this owner, 5 seconds symbolize respect, protection, security, and safety.

Let's look at the math. This owner requires people to wear a mask .1% of the time while being okay with them being unmasked for 99.99%. And what are people doing during this 99.99% of the time? They are breathing, chewing, laughing, sneezing, coughing, and talking, perhaps with their mouth full, which people tend to do. Who knows how much particulate is expelled into the atmosphere during these 4,860 seconds.

This must be disturbing for hypochondriacs, but being a human being is a messy business. No matter how much you try, you and your fellow human beings are contaminating the environment with their germs, bacteria, sicknesses, and perhaps even their deadly viruses. They certainly are doing a lot more damage in 4,860 seconds than what a person could do in 5. But this owner needs someone to blame, so let's go with the disrespectful sign-ignoring unmasked jerk.

Talk about putting someone at risk. This owner requires his restaurant employees to "pick up your dishes. Your glassware. Your napkins." He makes the "clean that bathrooms after you use them." But everyone is safe because he requires a person to wear a mask for 5 seconds while at the same time allowing people to remain unmasked for 99.99% of the time doing an activity that causes far more damage than a 5-second walk.

Put on your magical mask for 5 seconds, and all will be well. If that's not superstition, I don't know what is. But at least we have someone to blame.

May I talk about these magical masks for a moment? The owner wrote, "A mask increases that safety. It doesn't guarantee it, but it makes your visit more safe for us" How much protection is being provided by masks that are worn for only .1% of the time? Most people are not wearing masks properly anyway, are they? Most people are wearing the same disgusting mask over and over again. Some wear them only over their mouth and not their nose, which kind of defeats the purpose.

Furthermore, the masks that most people wear allow droplets out the side or are cheap masks that do little to no good. Add to that; the people are now wearing bandanas or some sort of ineffective cloth covering. He is right in your belief that wearing a mask is not a "guarantee."

Magical masks indeed!

He is careful not to blame the real bullies in this equation. He fears COVID-19 will be "traced" back to his restaurant. Who's doing contact tracing? How can you possibly prove the virus originated at your restaurant all because a person failed to wear a mask for 5 seconds? He is scared, but he's fear is misplaced. The real bullies are the power-hungry political fear-mongers who have the power to destroy this man's business, not the unmasked patron.

Not only has the government struck fear into this man's heart, but it has also taken away many people's incentive to return to work. The owner almost gets it when he refers to the "sky-high unemployment benefits" with which he competes. Good old socialism, that age-old destroyer of incentive to work. But we mustn't blame socialism. We must condemn the disrespectful unmasked villain.

I honestly feel sorry for this restaurant owner. I do not doubt that he is telling the truth about how difficult it is to maneuver meeting the almost impossible requirements of an incompetent and oppressive governmental system. I believe him when he says that he puts his "entire being" into this restaurant. I understand that he is doing the best he can in a challenging situation.

Sadly it's worse than he knows. He doesn't seem to be aware that the Executive Order he is so desperately trying to obey contains a caveat that could get him into a lot of trouble. Our esteemed Governor placed within his Executive Order No. 7BB a lovely caveat that states:

"Nothing in this order shall require the use of a mask or cloth face covering by anyone for whom doing so would be contrary to his or her health or safety because of a medical condition, a child in a child care setting, anyone under the age of 2 years, or an older child if the parent, guardian or person responsible for the child is unable to place the mask safely on the child's face. If a person declines to wear a mask or face covering because of a medical condition as described above, such person shall not be required to produce medical documentation verifying the stated condition. This order shall supersede and preempt any current or future municipal order."

In other words, all a person has to do is calmly inform the host that they are declining to wear a mask because of a medical condition. Furthermore, they do not have to prove it. He just has to take their word for it. If this poor restaurant owner denies access, he will violate the Governor's Executive Order. Not only that, if he denies access, he may also be violating the Americans with Disability Act, which could open him to litigation. It'd be difficult to win, especially when "such person shall not be required to produce medical documentation verifying the stated condition."

Our society is scared, and perhaps angry, about all that is happening because of COVID-19. Dysfunctional societies need a scapegoat, be it white men, Jews, blacks, the police, democrats, FOX news, those who don't wear masks, Donald Trump, you name it. I blame power-hungry corrupt government officials who are in bed with crony capitalist corporations. They scare me more than anyone else because only they have the legal right to use political power against those who have done no harm. I also blame people who won't use logic, reason, or science. Oh, that people would genuinely use real science and not the politicized form we hear machine-gunned from the media day and night.

I believe we are at a crossroads in the United States. What will tip the scale, in my opinion, is where the mob goes. If they go on the side of blaming those who do not conform to the official narrative, we are doomed. If people such as this restaurant owner wake up, start using real science, and start standing up to the real bullies, there is hope. In the meantime, I implore you to carefully examine what people are saying and believing and try to use logic, reason, and sound science to open their eyes.

***
Dear restaurant goer:

You don’t want to wear a mask. Ok. I don’t blame you. I don’t either. That’s why we set it up so you only have to wear it for the five seconds between the host stand and your table, and during your trip(s) to the bathroom. Still have a problem?

Consider this.

It was indescribably difficult for our restaurant to survive the shutdown. It devastated our savings and permanently eroded consumer confidence in dining out. Now we finally have a chance to open, and all the relevant governing bodies instruct us to require a mask for admittance.

Still have a problem?

Please also be aware that it’s also our staff preference.

Why?

First, if there is a case of COVID traced back to our restaurant, we have to test all staff and close (again) for an indeterminate amount of days. This puts an at-risk operation at even graver risk. Every day and every dollar counts more than I can describe.

Second, the employees you see in the restaurant right now opted to come back of their own volition. With sky high unemployment benefits to compete with, we have worked hard to build a workplace they want to come back to—one that offers fair compensation, above-average safety protocols and most of all, management and ownership that has their best interest in mind.

When you see a restaurant employee at work, it is usually because of some degree of loyalty or respect for the ownership, as well as faith in the safety measures they have put in place. These things took a great deal of time, effort and personal care to build. I now know that demonstrating love for my team is the most important part of my job. More than ever, I recognize how hard I have to fight for them.

If you are infected (either symptomatically or asymptomatically), you put THEM at risk, first and foremost. After all, they’re the ones that pick up your dishes. Your glassware. Your napkins. They're the ones that clean the bathrooms after you use them. DO NOT disrespect them.

On top of the terrifying work environment they have returned to, the new challenge of arguing with guests about masks is hurtful and unnecessarily punitive. Walking past a half dozen signs saying masks are required and then acting surprised about it—even when we offer to give you one at our cost—is inexcusable. And berating a host does not make you a patriot or a constitutional scholar. It makes you a bully, and it affirms the growing realization that the customer isn’t always right.

You may question the lawfulness of Executive Orders. It’s your prerogative. But one thing you can’t question is that as a guest, our safety is in your hands. A mask increases that safety. It doesn’t guarantee it, but it makes your visit more safe for us. It’s that simple.

I have put my entire being into my restaurants. It is my life’s work. Do not—DO NOT—DARE to put it and our loyal team members at risk unnecessarily. When you do so, you disrespect my wife, my daughter and son, and the life we’ve built. Not to mention the livelihood (and possibly lives) of the nearly 15 people we employ.

Bottom line: we’re trying to survive. Your concern about wearing a mask for mere seconds pales in comparison to what's at stake.